5 Decades to go///

-
 
  Freud said that during the Neonate stage of development, the infant is bound to have an ' oceanic feeling' which is foggy and seems like the infant wants some unification with the outer world that seems distant. Just having written this as a part of my first answer in Dopt exam ( development of psychological thought )  I am getting similar feelings - just to the extent of it being unclear. And having read a beautiful post by the Scribbled Stories made me forge a similar one below. Given that I live lets say for 50 more years, this will be one of the posts I'll re-read it before my 70th birthday. If you hate cheese ( or mayo!) and cliche things and childlike grammar do NOT proceed. Just close this window and stop judging me now...

Dear my 70 year old crazy ( Am I brazen still?)

I've got so many questions for you. or me rather. Am I doing something worthwhile in life? Like a real job with money?? Did I manage to have that wall which I'd imagined in my room on which I'd splash colors? Do I still laugh at the same jokes made by Chandler and Joey? Do I still have those t-shirts from the Souled Store which I bought somewhat secretly? ( Did my sister steal the Harry Potter ones' or I managed to save them?) Do I still dance like a douche bag or I managed to learn some good dance moves? Do I still call my friends and talk for ages actually I already know the answer to this. Why would I stop? I love irritating them (😏) Am I still the nerdy fan girl or  am defined by some other tag now? How's my lobster? ( I found someone right?) Do I get good coffee and amazing waffles as a treat then occasionally? Am I watching those old serials which I'd swore I would? Still can't forget the charm of Obodro right#Do I have someone to talk to without hesitation when I am low? Did I visit London again? Was there a beautiful day with just a book and cappuccino? Mum and dad, they're pleased with me right? I don't know what I've become but is it a better version of my self right now? I hope it is. And Peeta's alive in my hopes right?

Lots of questions not yet answered,
20 Year old me.


Was kind of cheesy right? I needed to feel happy and this is the best I could come up with. Thanks for lending me your eyes and hearing me. Abhi ke liye itna hii...










Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

To be or.. not to be

-
Dearest Gentle Reader,      There is no gentle way of saying this, but let me try: vulnerability is scary, necessary but intimidating; significant yet brutal; crucial but painful. It's about laying ourselves bare, even when the very thought makes our palms sweat. No, I did not get heartbroken, because I'm way past the stage. I'd rather break hearts than get mine stomped. Forgive me, I am new to the Bridgerton world so my over-the-top attempts at being dramatic can be quite irritating. But I do love the way Whistledown writes. Powerful, witty and so so good. My sister scorned me when I proclaimed that I could be a gossip writer - I mean it's a far-fetched absurdity but why not? Once upon a time, I thought I would write a book, see my name in print and that would be it. The thought makes me cringe and smile together. It still seems a childish fantasy, but you never know. I feel someday, I might still try and write something. A bad, crappy story but still, I hope I get to
Read more

In between worlds and places

-
     After three drafts of absolutely nothing and months of struggling to write anything worth saying, I'm ready to ramble unabashedly here. Before sitting to write this post, I was sure that I'd have plenty to say. About my latest obsession with Emily Henry's YA novels (especially Happy Place), the Kdrama rut I had been experiencing for a while, shifting to a different city or just becoming more acquainted with myself. Now that I'm finally writing this, I have Ri tucked between one arm, a blanket on my feet, an open window behind me, and a clueless me. The breeze coming from there makes me feel like a typical character except that I'm making it sound like that. In reality, I'm using the blanket to save myself from the mosquitoes, keeping Ri closer to not feel the chill in the air (log kya kahenge? A Delhite shivering from a little rain?) but yeah, the breeze is real. Making me feel alive and happy. I never thought something as simple as standing near the window
Read more

Fading footprints

-
Wow. So much for my resolutions of writing more frequently, here am I writing just near the end. I can't blame my work schedule or other people: this one's on me. But then every time I sat down to write, I just couldn't finish it because I felt something was missing. Gestalt psychology asserts that we're so used to interpreting things as a whole, processing patterns in entirety that we fill in the seemingly missing details ourselves. Maybe, that's what I am going to do in this post: try to sketch a summary of the last few months, by remembering and writing about the details that came to define the experience. Where should I start though? Should I start with my new IKEA plates? They have been my best buy ever. The set of deep white plates makes me want to cook and then plate the dishes well. They also make me feel like I'm enjoying a rich meal. While some people enjoy cooking and are really good at it, I've come to realize that even if I'm not half as goo
Read more