To be or.. not to be

  I was introduced to this concept of 'deconstruction' in Educational psychology, while reading about the fundamentals of childhood. To put in simply, it means taking a concept and going to its roots of origin and contemplating whether the same holds true in the present or not and if not, then citing evidence of the same. Why I fancy the word is not because I learnt it well and the fact that it didn't come in the exams and thus it  is an unforgivable topic ( although I am a bit resentful because it was hard!) but simply because it was re-introduced by one of my favorite childhood protagonist - Anne. Very few people remember the character and if you don't then I suggest you pick Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables which contrary to the popular belief is NOT a child's book but a classic that is suitable for all ages. There is a T.V show also based on it which was recently released on Netflix and it's a delight for one's imagination and for all those who have at some point in life been strongly influenced by their love for literature. Why am I babbling about it? Well, in one of the episodes ( as I am currently on my binge- watching spree) Anne says something which is kind of stuck in my head.

 Love. The most powerful four letter word. The one emotion which sways every person. The warm feeling which makes you happy. The one thing you want in life. You get my point, right? That is how how the ideology of love is shaped in every person's mind.  To be honest if I were to define it would simply be - comfortable silences. Two words which the extroverted world will have a hard time adjusting too. In my opinion, silence isn't about not having anything to say. Its that state when you don't feel like saying anything. You may have a million thoughts ( I learnt from my cognitive paradigm classes- thoughts occur in one tenth of a second) but putting those into words isn't your agenda then. However, sometimes you really really want to say something but you don't. Something stops you. Something stops those sentences, those words, those thoughts, that 'you' which wants to be brought to the surface. At times you want someone to automatically infer what you want to say but can't. You want them to read between the lines, between the seconds you pause for before indulging in something else. All those people who can actually feel this... who're waiting for that moment... that someone.. that day when your unsaid things will be understood, I don't know what to say. In fact, I am one of you. Confused. Irritated. Frustrated. Hopeful. Maybe love isn't about finding that one person who'll supposedly understand you and be with you. I know its been said and written about quite a lot - loving yourself. And please I am not one of those people who preach and say that accepting yourself is the road to personal development ( which may be true) - I know its hard. We all kind of get irritated by our own selves- wishing we'd do something which we haven't been able to or doing something which clearly wasn't what you wanted in the first place and forget that it is us. Loving is not about hundred percent acceptance even if its yourself, its about being comfortable in your own skin. And I intend to start the same. Sorry for being cliche, but that's what came to my mind and I couldn't help writing it. I'll write more posts for you to judge me even more lekin abhi ke liye itna hi..