Within you..

     Adulting. It's a new word or should I say an expression used frequently today, partly because of the web series of the same name on YouTube but largely due to  a feeling, a probing unconscious internal drive that tells us that this is it. This is the phase, the stage of life we were excited during our adolescent years, thinking it would be that time wherein we'd be ourselves, our own self. However I never thought it would be probably one of the hardest experiences- and I know this is just the beginning, the first step, but its hard. One thing my dissertation project taught me was that at the end of the day, one's work is called 'their work' for a reason - for one, nobody is going to be there when you really really need someone since that is the time, the defining moments where in you realise that you have to be stronger than what you are, when in the midst of tears, you have to find the courage to not let those tears rolling down your face define you or your work, when you have to take control, take responsibility and thus be independent. I know finishing one research project is a small task but honestly even though I found it hard - the 3 months of collecting data, interviews, reviewing literature and sleeping and breathing parenting, today holding the hard copy of the same, it feels good. It makes me feel happy and a little proud of my 'baby' - yes all my fellow project friends and I have decided to call it that - the idea was propagated initially by some of my professors! To be honest, I think this is what the real 'adulting' is - dragging on, working, cribbing, crying, binge eating but making an attempt to work things out. I know this may sound a little preposterous and what not, but as of now, this is what I believe in. However, there's one thing I'd specially like to mention - or rather some people who helped me stay 'sane' during this endeavour and after it too. My friends, my two stupid, adorable, busybird workaholics and amazing buddies who patiently listened to my rambles throughout the project and who congratulated me first despite being miles away. Thank you guys, I don't say it enough when I probably should - I miss you. Come meet me soon.... I guess abhi ke liye itna hi...